Still trying to get over the emotional tsunami. Can't believe I still couldn't do it. I mean, it's not like I've not had enough practice. I don't know what came over me right then. Stupid things I did which I really want to smack myself. And now I have to endure another 2 more months. Imagine all the time and money spent on this. It'd better be worth it okay. My heart aches just thinking about it and I feel so guilty.
And gosh the inferiority complex is setting in. Which idiot is in the same position as me? Thought second time would do the charm but... I guess I have to rely on third time lucky...
I wanna get over this phase but it feels like the trauma is there already. Looking forward to 2 months later but it's gonna take some time for me to recover from this episode. Again.
This sucks. :(
#notetoself